By DeviantSuccubus

Relationship stress can make life difficult. Instead of happy moments and pleasurable intimacy, you end up being on edge around the people you want to feel most relaxed with. What got you there in the first place? Relationship stress can be caused by conflict, lack of communication, weak listening skills, jealousy, problems in everyday life, issues with family, work or money. You might feel neglected and your emotional and sexual needs aren’t met. It is a place that you rather don’t want to stay in for too long.

Is Relationship Stress Common?

You are not alone. Relationship stress is very common. We can’t control everything that is going on in and around us. We are affected by so many different things, and it can be almost impossible to protect a relationship from the chaos of life. It is valid to be stressed out about a relationship that doesn’t feel stable. It is also important to remember that instability doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship has to end. Improving the quality of your relationship is possible.

What To Know About Relationship Stress

If you are overanalyzing everything that your partner(s) does, if you don’t feel heard or feel unhappy and neglected, you might be affected by relationship stress. And that leads to a general sense that your relationship might not be as great as you want it to be. It is good to reach that point of awareness because it can be followed by taking action to improve things. It is important to also be aware of the difference between common relationship stress and abuse. Most of the time, things can be resolved but certain red flags should never be ignored.

What Are The Effects of Stress in a Relationship?

Anxiety and nervousness, difficulty sleeping and feeling on edge are very common ways in which relationship stress expresses itself. You and your partner(s) might also feel sexually frustrated or emotionally neglected. Communication could cease, and conflict is avoided instead of faced. It might feel less safe to share your feelings and needs. Relationship stress can also have an effect on other connections, on work and on your general ability to function.

How To Deal With Relationship Stress

Always take care of yourself first. Your ability to handle the stressors of life has to do with how well you are doing emotionally. There are certain things that can help to improve a relationship, and reduce relationship stress. It is all about honing and learning skills. You need to be able to communicate your needs, feelings and your boundaries. There needs to be an ability to trust the person(s) you are in a relationship with. It is about prioritizing intimacy, to talk things out and to listen to what everyone has to say. And most of all it is about acceptance: you can not avoid relationship stress, the causes of it, or the impact it has on your life. What you can do is to reduce conflict and make the foundation of your relationship stronger so it becomes easier to get through stormy times.

Questions to ask yourself
  • What do I want in a relationship?
  • How can I hone my communication skills?
  • How can I improve my listening skills?
  • What is the best way for me to set boundaries?
  • What can I do for self-care?
Suggested Practice

Sit down comfortably and close your eyes. Place a hand on your belly. Take a deep breath in and count to three in your head. Breath out and count to three in your head. Repeat this several times. Feel how the air comes in and out of your body. Your muscles relax, your mind becomes clear, and you do not feel the pressures of life right now. This moment is for you.


Hell Yeah Self Care! By Meg-John Parker and Alex Iantaffi

DeviantSuccubus, Guest Blogger

DeviantSuccubus is a sexblogger and writer. She focuses her work on subjects around relationship, sex, body image, kink, mental health and chronic illness. Her mission is to advocate for a better understanding and a de-stigmatization of those who don’t fit into society’s narrow margins.

Twitter: @deviantsuccubus