By Rebecca E. Blanton

The past eighteen months have been stressful for all of us. Even as we begin to reopen the country, go back into the office, and send our kids to day camps and summer programs, the stress of the past year-and-a-half is hanging on, often in ways we do not recognize.

It is not until you have time to fully destress and care for yourself that you begin to recognize how much stress you are still carrying. If you have not had a chance for a time to destress and reconnect with yourself, you may think you are doing great with the stress (and you probably are). However, the stress can still have consequences for your erotic life, your mood, and your overall health.

How Do You Know if You Need to Come Back to Yourself?

There are a few questions to ask yourself. If you answer “yes” to more than two, you need to find a way to reconnect with your body.

    • Do you wake up feeling tired?
    • Do you feel hurried or rushed most days of the week?
    • Do you find thinking about projects makes you feel overwhelmed?
    • Do you get frustrated easily?
    • You can’t remember the last time you really laughed.
    • Do you go for hours or days without moving much (other than regular sleep)?
    • Do you live by lists?
Coming Back into Your Body

The first step to start coming back into your body is to find time for just you. Over the past 18 months privacy has been hard to come by for many of us. Working from home, having kids in the house all day, caring for various friends and relatives, video meetings and calls, and constantly seeking information on a rapidly changing world leaves you with no downtime just for you.

Set aside time for just you. This means getting the kids, your partner, the roommates, or others in your home out of the house. If that is not a realistic option, find a place where you can go and simply be by yourself without a phone or screen in front of you. This may be a local hiking spot, a quiet park, a bike ride, or other space that does not promote consumption and screen time.

What Do You Do When You Are Alone?

Breathe. When you finally have time to yourself, breathe. Practice mindful breathing. This means taking a deep inhalation (slowly count to four), pause for two counts, and then exhale for four counts. Feel the air enter your lungs and flow out of your nose and mouth. Pay attention to your body and how it feels.

Get Active. Find an activity to get your heart pumping and your muscles moving. Depending on your abilities, these activities will look different. This may be engaging in walking, hiking, or going for a bike ride. It could include doing yoga, stretching, or tai chi at home. It might be increasing your range of motion exercises with an aide. The point of this is to get your body moving and get you focused on how your body is doing.

Meditate. Meditation is a great way to connect with yourself. This can be traditional meditation, a walking meditation, or even group meditation sessions.

Masturbate. Self-pleasure can be a great way to get back in touch with yourself (literally). Take some time to romance yourself. Draw a warm bath, put clean sheets on the bed, or get into the hot tub. Spend time touching your body and enjoying the sensations. Use sex toys if you like. Indulge in good lubricant. Enjoy having a romantic time with yourself.

Hydrate. You probably do not track how much water you drink. This means you risk running low for your hydration needs. Take time to drink a large glass of water and pay attention to how it feels to drink and hydrate.

Massage. Massage is a great way to pamper your body. You do not have to pay a professional masseuse for this (but it is a great option!). Massage your feet or have your partner massage your feet after a long day. It is a great way to reconnect with yourself and relieve stress.

Stop Looking at the Numbers!

You probably track several numbers as health indicators: weight, waist and hip measurements, blood pressure, how long you work out, or body fat measurements. This may give you a sense of control of your health. However, these numbers are often not connected to how we feel.

Start tracking how you feel. Keep notes on your emotional states, how it feels to move in your body, where your pain is located, if there are areas or muscles which are tight, and how you feel when you wake up. How you feel is a better indicator of health than any set of numbers you can keep.

Some numbers are important! If you monitor blood sugar because you have diabetes, need regular lab tests for health monitoring, or are tracking workout times and flexibility as part of physical therapy, keep tracking those statistics. Add on tracking about how you feel in your body to better connect with yourself.

Benefits of Connecting with Yourself

If you already feel overwhelmed or rushed, adding self-care to the list of to-dos may feel like a Herculean task. If overwhelmed is the first thing you feel when thinking about connection time, you need it more than you know!

There are significant health benefits to self-care and connection:

  • Increased feelings of calm.
  • Better able to cope with high-stress situations.
  • Healthier blood pressure.
  • Reduced cortisol levels which reduces stress on your kidneys, heart, and blood vessels.
  • Increased sex drive.

It may feel overwhelming to start reconnecting with your own body. However, the long-term benefits of self-care are worth the time and effort to start your routine. Additionally, the more you practice self-care, the easier it will become.

Recommended Resource:

For additional self-care inspiration, check out Hell Yeah Self-Care! written by Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker.

References:

  • Diamond, Lisa. (2012). “The Benefits of Yoga in Improving Health.” Primary Healthcare, 22 (2): 16-19.
  • Ross, Alyson; Erika Freedman, et al. (2013). “National Survey of Yoga Practitioners: Mental and Physical Health Survey.” Complementary Therapies in Medicine, 21(4): 313-323.
  • Naveen, G.H., Varambally, S. et al. (2016). “Serum cortisol and BNDF in Patients with Major Depression- Effect of Yoga.” International Review of Psychiatry, 28(3): 273-278.
  • Brota, Laurie, Michael Krychman, et al. (2008). “Eastern Approaches to Enhancing Women’s Sexuality: Mindfulness, Acupuncture, and Yoga.” Journal of Sexual Medicine, 5(12): 2741-2748.

Rebecca Blanton, Guest Blogger

Rebecca Blanton (aka Auntie Vice) is a writer and performer. Her work focuses on kink, adult sexuality, and gender. She performs as a storyteller and stand-up comic. She holds a Ph.D. in Political Psychology.

Blog: LoveLettersToAUnicorn.com
Website: AuntieVice.com

Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and TikTok @AuntieVice

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A summer pleasure magick embodiment retreat for your coming-back-to-life self.

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