By DeviantSuccubus
Learn How To Feel Sexually Confident in Today’s World
We are all feeling it. The air is sweeter, the future looks brighter. Soon we will be mingling with each other again: hugging, kissing and getting intimate. Our sexual confidence might not have been the first thing on our minds during the last few months. But now it is high time to learn how to feel sexually confident again. You want to feel attractive, and be attractive. Your sexual fulfillment and your sexual self-confidence are closely intertwined! So let’s take a look at what you can do to feel good about yourself, and shine your light of sexual power and empowerment
What Sexual Confidence Looks Like
Sexual confidence has nothing to do with your body type, (dis) ability, skin tone, sexual orientation, gender or your level of sexual experience with others. It has all to do with how much you embrace who you are. If you feel sexy, you look sexy. Your knowledge of your own needs and the interest in your partner’s needs, the ability to take initiative and the focus on consent are all strong markers of sexual self-confidence. And behind all that stands an experience with your own body, with research and self-pleasure.
How to Feel Sexually Confident Again
So how do you get back to feeling sexually confident again? After all, many of us have been deprived of real physical human contact for such a long time, we might feel like we have lost our skills, and the connection to our own sexuality. Here are a few ways to improve your sexual confidence.
Love Your Body
So here you are. Looking at yourself in the mirror, twisting and turning. And judging yourself. We all do it. You are not alone. But the first step towards feeling confident in your sexuality, is to begin loving yourself. You are your own worst critic, but you can also become your biggest fan. It is never about what ideals you are supposed to reach, but the ideals you choose for yourself. We all have beauty, but sexiness comes from confidence and how you live in that body that is yours. Dress so you feel sexy. Move sexy so you feel sexy. You are in control of your own body image!
Understanding and Communicating Your Own Sexual Desires
Do you know what turns you on? Do you communicate your sexual needs? Sexual self- confidence is more than just your body and how you present yourself. It also lies in knowing what you like, and having the skills to communicate it! Telling your partner(s) how you want to be touched, explaining your erogenous zones, and making sure to ask about their needs as well? Those are all things that will not only improve your sexlife, but will also make you come across as sexually confident. And that can include knowing how to ask for consent, and clearly stating consent when someone asks, or revoking it.
Self-Pleasure and Sexual Confidence
But how do you know what you like? You need to spend time with yourself. Self-pleasure, reading up and educating yourself on kinks, positions and different expressions of sexuality might help spark some ideas of your own. Knowing your own body’s reactions and the things that arouse you, does show confidence, and will also lead to sexual fulfilment. Masturbation isn’t only good for your mental health or taking care of your own needs, it also boosts your sexual self-confidence.
5 Tips for Feeling Sexually Confident
Here are 5 tips that answer the question of how to feel sexually confident:
- Learn to love yourself. Embrace who you are. Dress sexy, move sexy, feel sexy.
- Learn how to express your sexual desires. Don’t be afraid to ask for things during intimate times. Take initiative and communicate your needs, while also caring for what your partner(s) want.
- Make consent sexy and central. Know how to clearly ask for consent, and how to clearly state consent.
- Learn more about your body and your needs through self-pleasure. Don’t be afraid to explore.
- Educate yourself on different kinks, positions and ways of pleasure. Knowledge is power and makes you feel empowered.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- What stops you from loving your body, and how can you overcome those obstacles?
- What can you do to get over the shame of communicating your sexual desires?
- What brings you sexual fulfilment, and how can you learn about your sexual needs?
- What can help you to make more space and time for self-pleasure?
Suggested Practice
Sensually engage with your own body, and your mind. Spend time with yourself and let your mind wander. Give your body what it needs. Spend those extra minutes naked in bed, allowing yourself to get to know your needs without shame or holding back. Just close your eyes, and feel what feels good.
Be grateful for what your body can give you, and what you can give to your body. Spend a moment focusing only on the good things that your body has brought to your life. Build that positive connection between your body and your mind.
Recommended Resources
For a refreshing look at self-care, check out Alex Iantaffi’s book with Meg-John Barker called Hell Yeah Self-Care!
DeviantSuccubus, Guest Blogger
DeviantSuccubus is a sexblogger and writer. She focuses her work on subjects around relationship, sex, body image, kink, mental health and chronic illness. Her mission is to advocate for a better understanding and a de-stigmatization of those who don’t fit into society’s narrow margins.
Blog: deviantsuccubus.com
Twitter: @deviantsuccubus
Sparring NOT Scarring: Tools for Fighting Fair
FREE LIVE WEBINAR with Dr. Pavini Moray
June 3, 2021 at 1pm ET
You deserve to have conflict that ultimately brings more connection and aliveness to your relationships. If you want to get good at conflict, and end abusive cycles, this free teaching offers the skills for navigating relationships.
