I feel free, in an interdependent way.
“Sexual liberation is hard won, every single day. Each day you must choose to traverse the challenging road back to your body, back to your breath, back to your pleasure, back to trust and vulnerability and intimacy.”
Feeling my yeses and nos, and practicing permission is all clicking into place right now. When I saw this list of The Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2019 by Kinkly, I really saw how each blog’s beauty is in inhabiting its unique truth. All the articles that move me are ones in which I feel someone else accepting their truth.
This week was a heavy one because there was some intense death stuff that happened. Whenever people near me start actively dying or pass on, I am reminded of what feels most important to me, now.
What’s most important is dedicating myself to creating a life that I want to live.
Where I’m doing things that I believe in, whatever that looks like. And when it comes down to it, it’s kind of all about pleasure, isn’t it? Even when I’m being of service to others or doing things I don’t really want to do, that’s because in the long run I want to give to my community, I want to have clean laundry tomorrow, I want to do the work of feeling my hard feelings so that I can know myself and so that I can also feel my good feelings, too. And I’m in charge of that.
Lizzo’s Soulmate has definitely been my anthem this week, in mourning and celebration. I love my partner, but I can only love them fully when I take responsibility for myselves.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Sexual liberation is a process, not a goal. For the rest of your life, you will (if you so choose) be freeing yourself from all of the rules that you have swallowed, either those that are culturally constructed or those that are self-imposed. For the rest of your days, you will be calling yourself home to erotic wholeness.
- What are the erotic or sexual rules you have made for yourself?
- What are the rules you were given and have not examined or deconstructed?
- What rules about your sexuality are you consciously practicing?
- What rules are you unconsciously practicing?
We construct our own erotic limitations, our own sexual prison cells, often without realizing it.
Make a zine of you. The zine contains all the things you like and don’t like about you. All the things you think a person should know if they want to engage with you deeply and intimately.
This is the zine that insists on your humanity. And doing this practice might just shake out some of that shame we hold around who we truly are.